We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
