i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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