First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I stole a fireplace last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
