My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
