Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
