I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
