You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
