So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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