it wasn't lemon gatorade
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
