that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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