Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize