I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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