If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
