i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
how drunk are you?
Several
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
