what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
