I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
