cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i dont even know how to be here
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
