At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
They are going to name an STD after you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
