Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
