im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
