Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
