I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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