I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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