Ambien. No doubt about it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize