She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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