If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
