so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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