Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
