What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
