She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
