I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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