Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
