i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
