Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
