Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize