maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
