Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
