on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
