This is not my ceiling
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What drink are we having for lunch?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
