check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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