Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
