Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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