he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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