i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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