Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
