Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
