You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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