Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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