I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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