Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
