...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
