Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
