this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
