He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
