even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
