Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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