Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
