operation harelip BJ is a go
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
