does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
