My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
