Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
