he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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