Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
