I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
