1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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