your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
