I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
