Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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