Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
