ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
