i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
