So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
