i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
