Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
