You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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