Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
