before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
